Moving Forward. Or Are We?!?!

So now that I just cleared my head some by my last post… I’ll go on to share my events for tonight. I’ll try to keep this post short, sweet, and interesting by sparing some of the details but we’ll see what happens.

So me and my husband live in West Virginia but we haven’t always. We’re from Baltimore (area), MD. Some how we ended up here, let’s just leave it at –apparently this is where God wanted us to be for a reason that we’re still working through. But we do both like it here (now). When we first came out WV, we were in Berkeley Springs in Morgan County, but in an around about way we ended up in Hedgesville, WV (after moving back to Baltimore temporarily). I started school in Martinsburg, WV while I was in Baltimore (yes, I drove back and forth daily 1hr 35min depending on the day 😉 ), then I got a job out in Hedgesville, WV while still living in Baltimore and my husband working and living in Baltimore. Well, things worked out that my husband found a place for us (while I was at work) and a job in this area with his parents. And when I got off from work we went down and he showed me the property. I definitely was NOT excited about the place at all.. *sidenote- I wanted to move back to WV and he didn’t but this was him coming around* (I’ll have *sidenotes throughout to avoid the long story but give direction). Learning my husband I know that, he can be very stubborn and when he have his mind made up at the time, his mind is made up. But with a lot of finesse and patience and prayer 😉 on my part, I can a lot of times redirect his emotions BUT I also have to be very gentle with my wordings…lol..which I honestly think is for a lot of guys (without them knowing). He can also get very excited and again when that happens his mind is made up.

So needless to say to keep this story “short, sweet, and interesting”. We moved into that place that I was less than excited about because God did remind me of the bigger picture and He allowed me to remember that sometimes you have to give up the little fish to catch the big fish. And at that time, moving to this place was a little fish, it wasn’t dangerous or like an abandoned building or anything so hey. But the BIG FISH was that we were going to be down in this area (I wanted to live in Martinsburg which is about 15min from where we are), he was easing my way, he was excited and involved, and I can change his mind once we’re down here…lol..but true. I just needed him to know and feel that he was going to like it. speeding up….lol….Well like I know once we moved down, he started liking it instantly and now he loves it.

So now that your up to speed. We’ve been here since September 2011, not long at all. The plan was to be here for about a year maybe 2 years and that was a HUGE MAYBE. So yeah, 1 year…lol. But because of certain circumstances we are moving sooner. Basically we live in a mobile home park (a first for us both) but it’s a nice park so ok. But the landlord is a total dooshbag. He like makes his own rules when he feels like it which is totally unprofessional and we’re not going to be paying to be dealing with someone emotionally roller coasters and making changes to our daily living just because he was feeling some kind a way that particular day. It just got out of control, I mean stupid rules like “no visitors at night” and we kind of feel like that one was directed to us because it seems like my mother is the only vistor that comes here late (when she drives down from Baltimore). But seriously!!! We’re adults and this is not the dorms. Now I can see if we were “disturbing the peace” which is definitely not going on but that rule was just to give an  idea of the ridiculous rules he JUST MADE.

Now we’ve been looking at places online but we just started looking at places in person and which we only seen one so far. And my husband actually fell in love with it. Of course right. Now if you remember what I said above, once his mind is made up, yeah, it’s pretty much made up. Now don’t get me wrong it is a new place. Oh and the funny is thing is it’s in Martinsburg…so do I know my man or what?!?! Well, it’s on a perfect block, it has a huge backyard BUT it is small. Very petit and I just don’t know if I can do it. Now of course us females, have to be so responsible and think about the long-term while they just “live in the moment”. But I’m thinking about when we have our first child. Where is the baby going to go? outside? in the large yard?

Well, we had a small argument (if you want to call it that…lol..cause most of the time I’m the only one talking. He has mastered the art of silence well. The one thing he has learned never argue back because doing so dissolves the argument…lol, from his “For Men Only” book. From experience, you can’t argue with no one about it because we have been down this road before throughout our earlier marriage and I just feel like I don’t want to go down that path again. I also feel hurt that my feelings about it don’t matter (even if he SAY they do). But when he makes up his mind, he don’t even want to talk about it, it’s just done.

Now I prayed about it and I know that ultimately the decision is up to God but for me it’s more the principle of the matter. Like I told him I didn’t say I didn’t like it but I said I wasn’t sure, I wanted to look at others. I want him to talk to me  to include me in decision process. Let me know why he thinks it’s good for us and I share what I think and we decided to put in on the back burner WHILE we check out other places. I may come to where he is and agree that it would be good for right now, but to just not include me makes me feel unloved and disrespected. And like I said in my last post “I found that I can be a pretty mean, cold-hearted person” when I’m mad. So I said some pretty mean and cold-hearted things to him, which I kind of feel bad for now but I just don’t know. I mean I know I was wrong but honestly I know I need to pray and talk to him but I can’t right now. I don’t know how to explain it, it’s not that I don’t FEEL like praying, but I just can’t part my mouth right now to say the words that I need to say. I love him, I really do but I just get tired of the routine we do and I know I need to go into my prayer room more often which I will start doing because it’s like I’ll boil until I start boiling over and that’s when it gets ugly for me and him. So I HAVE to correct it. We’ve been through so much in our short marriage that I greatful to God for but I’m ready to move forward and see progression in our marriage and my anger just stemmed from finding out that we haven’t progressed in this area. That we have experienced this exact situation before and he responded the exact same way. Well I didn’t want to react the same way, taking the backseat (and I’m not talking about our current place because this wasn’t the same).

So I’m going to go and make the DECISION to do the right thing because I’m still not ready to pray about it or talk to him but I have to…so I’m going to.

**Oh yeah –sidenote—have you ever got into a mode that you don’t even know how you got there? I mean, he asked me why I wanted to hurt him? and my honest response was, “I don’t know, because you hurt me and honestly I don’t even know how to stop right now”. That is scary to be so mean that you don’t know when it start and don’t know how to end it. Now to be clear, I wasn’t cursing at him and calling him names but mainly stupid comments that really make no sense. Well I’ll share more about our marriage in another post.

So in this post, for the ladies, I hoped that you got an idea of how to relate with your spouse and learn him more to learn how to work with him (again even with learning him, patience is another story—lots of prayer as you can see I need more of) and for the men, I hope you got an idea of what us ladies think and how we feel. It’s not always the situations but rather how you respond. I can tell you more than half of the things that go on in a marriage is NOT the situation but HOW YOU RESPONDED, a lot of times we can just go with the flow if you just TREATED US like you LOVED US.

I highly recommend “For Couples Only” it’s a book for the wife and husband and it is really good. I have not finished my book (can you tell…lol) but neither has he (I can tell…lol) so we all need to read the books…TOGETHER. How about that…lol.

Good night, God Bless… I hope this wasn’t to “long, drawn-out, and uninteresting”…lol.

Thanks for stopping by… India 🙂